cosmicwheels

anyway i never use this anymore and basically im always on tumblr?? Im not really into the Monkees anymore(anytime i try to talk about them my anxiety acts up really bad) I mean I haven't even listened to them since i saw them in concert in 2012. But i mean its kinda okay because I'm really obsessed with Pokemon now like I never would have seen the day I obsess with pokemon?? I went to Ohayocon again and I dressed up as Sylveon and a lot of people told me how cute and adorable I was and there was this one guy who was Sylveon too and he was so sweet and his cosplay was amazing *_* There were a few Sylveon's and he was the only one who wasn't

idk man i'm just so fucking glad i can FINALLY wear sweaters cause i'm so self concious of my wrist right now and like i'm supposed to get a tattoo there soon and like idk how i'm gonna do it cause its so scarred??? Like its been....roughly 3 weeks since i last cut but its still really scarred cause i go over the same spots over and over again? Like everyone is beginnin to hate me again and i'm so so so disappointed in myself for opening up and letting myself get emotionally attached to people because i need to learn to just not fucking do that. its so hard to keep up a happy front when i'm with friends because i feel like they want to talk

sometimes i legitally wish someone cared that i still cut myself. No ones tried to talk me out of it and i just feel totally worthless in everyones eyes. I've been trying so hard to make friends and just no one wants to be my friend cause i'm such a shitty person and I just really wish I could try to kill myself again sometimes but I know I can't cause I saw how hurt my mom was and just I can't do that to her again. sometimes I wonder if I still belong in the fucking mental hospital but I don't WANT to go back.